It has been an interesting few days. I am always amazed at the diversity on the subway here. I honestly believe that you could spend your entire day riding the subway and trying to figure out everyones stories. For those of you who know me, you know that I love to watch people and attempt to figure them out. So here is what I saw yesterday and today. Can you help me determine what their "stories" are?
1) A Man on the subway car, walked into the middle between 2 cars, stood there for about a minute and a half and then came back into the car and sat with his girlfriend. Hint: There was no smoking involved.
2) 2 young people last night on the subway (approximately 8:30pm). They could not keep their hands off each other. They were standing near the exit of the train and could not stop making out.
3) A Man dressed in a shirt and tie wearing a bright orange smock (like what the subway helpers wear). Normally, however, the subway workers are wearing their blue shirts with the smock. So why was this guy wearing a shirt and tie and the smock?
4) As I passed the Rockefeller station this morning, I saw out of the window and woman on her one knee bent over with her head on the side of one of the benches. She was clearly crying. Eveyone was ignoring her.
So help me out if you would. What were their stories?
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7 comments:
1) This plan clearly was passing gas. How polite of him to step out of the car.
2)These people have a contest of making out in public places
3)This guy is on the show where the boss has to do the job of his workers.
4)NY is so big...people get ignored all the time. She was crying because she got searched in the subway station and the government is taking away all her liberties.
:)
Jamie, you can never give me a hard time about people-watching at baseball games again. Weird people are far more interesting than baseball. Well, Grady Sizemore is rather interesting...
As for the people's stories:
1)Maybe he thought he was going to puke; so, he had to escape his girlfriend's range.
2)Umm, hello. Easy. Maybe the boy lived in NYC. And the girl was visiting him from Ohio. Duh!
3)Yeah, he was probably a boss man. Maybe he just likes ties. Maybe, he is trying to get a promotion.
4)What the hell would you do if you saw some lady on the ground crying? Um, not stare and walk by. I would even do that in gosh darn Ashtabula. What was her story? She probably got mugged.
By the way...in 1) I meant "man" not "plan"
1) He was out taking a leak. He skillfully missed the third rail.
2) Hotel rooms are expensive, but subway fare is cheap. Its all foreplay till they get to the end of the line.
3) Part of dressing for success is dressing for the level you aspire. This is why I wear Hawaiian shirts to work whenever I can.
4) Perhaps the woman tripped and fell, and was crying because she didn't want to go through the arduous task of locating a quality PI attorney. If only someone would have handed her his business card!
(OK, I liked Christie's answer to (4) better.)
1. Farting
2. Are you telling me you never hard core made out in public? The first time I got to second base was on a bus.
3. Smocks are cool
4. Seriously, why would someone stop? Its humiliating enough to be crying public, let alone have someone stop to help you.
5. In reference to the civili liberties and stuff. I know you and i discussed this the other day, but last night I watche dthis documentary...well anyways its all on my blog.
first of all, i think you guys are far too witty for your own good.
secondly, i think people who are crying in public are so tragic. it makes me uncomfortable. but ultimately sad for reasons they don't know and i can't explain.
1. commonly mistaken for breaking wind, subject(a) was in fact airing out a recently lanced boil. the sepacious sepum therein which was now oozing forth has a dank, methanish smell commonly confused with either a fart or unkept lady business.
2. subjects (b) and (c) meet every day on that subway car. they only know each other by sight, taste, smell and touch yet they do not know each other's names. (b)is kenneth, an aspiring actor and part time production assistant on a third tier soap-opera. (c)is dougie. he works at dean and deluca and often times short changes customers to supplement his meager income. they dont yet know that they share one common acquaintance, nor will they, unless they ever bother to formally meet.
3. clearly subject (d) is a contestant/project manager of Team Toasted on an "Apprentice" styled reality show sponsored by Subway Sandwiches & Salads, a registered trademark of Doctors Associates Inc. the show is hosted by Jared Fogel and each week, one contestant from the losing team is eliminated. Jared's awaiting a patent for his trademark elimination phrase, "Get outta here. You're toast. Just like all of my favorite subs at Subway."
4. (e)is not really there. she was just a manifestation, a projection created from your own conscience. you're expressing grief and guilt over what you did yesterday. no one notices her because she exists only for you. it's okay that you make out with kenneth while he was on break from serving susan lucci and all my children. its even okay that you know that dougie's shortchanging you when you order coffee and muffins, yet you think it's endearing and make out with him anyway. it's completely natural. you're alone and lonely in a big city, looking for approval wherever it can be found. it's okay, jamie. it's okay.
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